It’s been quite the year to say the least. So many highs and lows, peaks and valleys, I find that it’s far too easy to get caught up in the overwhelming clutter that 2020 has presented thus far. It’s been a time of uncertainty, confusion, and frustration. Just the sheer thought of trying to navigate this seamlessly endless period of chaos can put you into a downward spiral.
For me personally, I’ve always prided myself on being able to keep my cool and stay centered, however, I’ve found that this year has even gotten to me more times than I’d like to admit. One minute things begin to feel normal with COVID, life is looking optimistic, normality seems like it’s in a tangible reach, and within a moment, it can all change. During these times, it’s so easy to get caught up in a wave of overflowing emotions, making it difficult just to stay afloat.
Then when you add in all the other downfalls, setbacks, and disappointments that are inevitable in everyday life, it’s easy to get sucked into a whirlwind of emotions and doubts yet again. In most cases, that’s when I begin to worry about things that are out of your control or absolutely pointless to let consume my precious emotions. However, throughout this time, I’ve found one of the greatest things that helps me declutter my thoughts and prioritize what really matters is to practice gratitude.
Sometimes all you need to do is shift your focus and shine your light on the positive energy that surrounds you. In times of uncertainty, this is one of the best ways for me to maintain a positive attitude or to help me get out of a funk.
Now, this blog isn’t meant to teach you how to live a more positive lifestyle or tell you how to deal with this ever-changing landscape we currently live in. I don’t have the answers. But writing down words on paper has always been my release and is a way for me to visualize and relive a specific moment in time. This blog is honestly just a way for me to express my thoughts, hold myself accountable to be more thankful, and hopefully, it can serve as a reminder for you to do the same in your life as well.
How Zion Made Me More Grateful
What sparked this deep appreciation was on my recent trip to Utah. We were on the open road. No buildings in sight, just red-stained rocky mountains blocking the horizon in every direction. Cell phone service was out of the question, our unfiltered thoughts were the only thing consuming our minds. The windows were rolled down, the sun was beaming through the crisp air, the music was so loud I could feel it in my soul. It was a simple moment, but it made me so genuinely happy that all other exterior concerns were nowhere in sight.
All I could think about was how lucky I felt to be there at that exact moment. I felt overwhelmed with gratitude. I wanted to bottle up that exact moment and save it for when I needed a burst of light in my life. That’s when I realized how important it is to acknowledge the things we are most thankful for, both big and small.
I didn’t know if it was the simplicity of that moment or if stars had really been aligning, but all I knew is that this trip was decluttering any congestion that was blocking my mind and was releasing a new sense of gratitude that I hadn’t felt in some time.
As I tried to understand this overwhelming sense of happiness, I began making a list of the things that could be attributed to this enveloping euphoria.
Below are some of the most defining things that have made me grateful.
Being Able to Stay in The US
People always ask why I don’t spend more time in the US, and honestly, it really takes a toll on me going back and forth. When I go back home, it’s a constant reminder of how much I miss my family and friends. This is not necessarily a bad thing, however, it makes me feel uprooted with the daily shifts and changes I experience from one life to the other.
When I came back to California in October for a 3-week visit, Spain began to go into another confinement. I became quickly overwhelmed with the idea of staying in the US until Christmas. Not because I didn’t want to, but I was worried it would somehow set me back or I’d be missing out on my life in Barcelona. With a lot of hesitation and sleepless mornings, I decided to stay and canceled my ticket to Barcelona until things started to get better.
During the car ride through Zion, I realized how fortunate I was to be able to go back home right when things were worsening in Spain. Because of this mental roadblock I have about coming home for extended periods of time, I’ve always been too scared to book a trip for more than a few weeks to California. Now that I was forced to be here, I realized how lucky I was to finally be able to enjoy a holiday season with friends and family. In all honesty, it felt like the decision had been made for me, which was the push I needed.
Slowing Down & Living in the Present Moment
In Barcelona, I’m constantly moving, meeting new people, and making as many plans as I can. Back home, I live a very different story. Life is familiar and comfortable. Everything feels predictable and a bit stagnant. It’s a lifestyle I used to love but it has since become overshadowed by the expat hustle that Barcelona has provided me.
Although I love this active and ever-changing energy, I also feel the constant pressure of having to do something, which is also not healthy. Being back home and going on this trip has made me realize the importance of slowing down and appreciating the present moment. There’s something so beautiful about not having an agenda, going off on a whim, and being surprised about how it all unfolds. On my trip to Zion, my friend Katie and I lived spontaneously, said yes to everything, and had our expectations surpassed every single day just because we were enjoying each and every moment as they came.
Being Surrounded by Positive People
It’s amazing how surrounding yourself with positive energy can impact your life in so many ways. While spending time with my family always helps me hit that much-needed reset button, I’ve also been able to rekindle friendships that deserve resurfacing.
Ever since I started living abroad, it’s been very hard for me to maintain close relationships with people back home. It’s a fault I’m constantly trying to improve. Between the time difference and the differing schedules, it can feel impossible to even pencil in a 15-minute phone call with some of my closest friends. I’ve realized you have to make a genuine effort to maintain relationships, which is not always easy being on the other side of the world. Since being home, I’ve been able to dedicate more undivided attention to the people who matter most to me.
Katie, my travel partner for this trip, was one of my very first friends in college. We even spent a semester studying abroad together in Barcelona and traveled all over Europe on our free weekends. While I love spending time with her, I’ve barely gotten to see her over the years due to the fact that we live in different cities and are rarely in the same place.
After several failed attempts at planning a weekend to see each other, we decided to set aside a few days to go somewhere. After just a single day of traveling, I realized how important it is to find like-minded people that bring out the best version of myself. Having open and honest relationships that are free of judgment can be hard to find. This trip has made me realize how important it is to prioritize these friendships and spend more time with people that mean so much to me.
Having a Solid Support System Back in Barcelona
When you decide to move to a new country, you don’t think about the challenges of finding life-long friends. You don’t think about how often you will have to go out of your comfort zone just to expand your circle. And you don’t think about how often you will have to say goodbye to close friends who are just passing through the city. This has always been one of the major challenges that I’ve had to face and deal with while living abroad.
However, over the past year, I’ve put a lot of effort into building connections and maintaining relationships with people who push me to be a better person. Finally, after years of living in this constant limbo, I feel like I’ve finally hit the jackpot with my circle. My tight-knit group isn’t just friends, they’ve become family.
Being away has made me realize how fortunate I am to have them all in my life. They are the support system I had always longed for and the group that I needed to keep going when I was ready to return home. While being back in the US, I’ve realized how lucky I am to have them to return to back in Barcelona. As said before, it can be difficult to get back on a plane to Spain when it feels like you have no one there waiting for you. But now, they are the reason I keep living on the other side of the world, even when things get difficult.
Staying Both Mentally & Physically Healthy
Now more than ever I’ve realized how important it is to be healthy, and not just for my body, but for my mind as well. I feel so incredibly fortunate that I’ve been able to stay healthy during this past year in a time when many people are struggling or are having to face the devastation of COVID in their own immediate family.
With all the new challenges this year has surfaced, I’ve been even more grateful for my mental health. This is a time that is testing everyone in new ways and is surfacing unique challenges that no one has ever had to face before. With that being said, I could only imagine how difficult this year may be for people who already struggle with anxiety or depression. Everyone reacts differently to these ulterior stressors, but I can only assume that these conditions magnify the emotions and struggles of those who already deal with these internal conflicts on a daily basis.
If this trip has taught me anything, it’s to be thankful for what I have and the current place I’m in. While some days may be difficult and it’s easy to become overwhelmed with external factors, it’s comforting knowing that everyone on the surface of this earth is also trying to navigate this complicated, unconventional year. Am I where I want to be? Not quite. But do I feel like I’m on the right path? Absolutely, and that’s what’s most important.
And on that note, what are you most thankful for? What has been your most recent silver lining? These are questions that I think we should all be asking ourselves more often.
It may even bring you a sense of joy in unexpected ways.
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